Hoodwinked Yet Again, Black People (R. Kelly - Part 1)

I am NOT that woman who’s a ride or die R. Kelly fan.  But I am a loyal Aaliyah fan. I heard his songs on the radio and saw a few videos but I'd never bought his music or gone to any of his concerts.  I didn't see the R. Kelly “sex tape”, but a family member said he’d seen it and confirmed it was R. Kelly.  It’s one of those situations that’s ingrained into Black America’s psyche almost like the white Bronco chase.  Nobody wanted R. Kelly to be found guilty more than I did. But we all know about people getting off when they're guilty. *Coughing* OJ. 

See, I was THAT woman, who, after trial, would change the station when R. Kelly came on the radio (except The Tom Joyner Morning Show), stay seated when they played his music at social gatherings (not really); posted negative comments or gave "angry faced" emojis when people posted R. Kelly pics, concerts, etc.  Because I believed it was R. Kelly, I vowed never to listen to him again in life.  And because the victim was Black, I'd get sour and didn't understand why Black people still supported him and why his concerts sold out. 

I tuned into the Lifetime “docuseries” but a few days late because I don’t watch Lifetime.  Only after a co-worker asked if I'd been "keeping up with this R. Kelly stuff?" did I first hear about it (she didn’t watch).  I watched a portion, later calming my younger cousin (and myself down) by commenting on FB that, “Let’s just pray.”  But then, as I finished, I decided to do "research" on "Surviving R. Kelly" for some reason, and yearned to listen to his music again.  Like Jada, I, too, was curious why his music sales more than doubled that week.  Perhaps it was as Lalah Hathaway) said:  Sales always increase when an artist [dies]. Or perhaps it's because some people saw this as bs.  Hmmm....

The next day at work, while speaking to someone in the lunchroom, a colleague from Chicago excitedly chimed, "I know Rob (R. Kelly).  He is so nice and humble.  While in law school, I worked for my sister who produced his videos."  She continued, "He made sure everybody, all the choirs were taken care of during the "I Can Fly" taping because they hadn't eaten all day."  And then, as she walked away, she said, "Mothers would bring their underage girls to the video shoots with fake IDs".  Whaaaaaat???!!!  Huh!!!.

By Wednesday, I’d heard that the radio host who refers to himself as Charlemagne “tha God” (I never liked that name) who was in the “series” had published very disturbing “R. Kelly” posts.  This seemed to be in line with other misogynistic comments he’s made on his show.  I then heard Dream Hampton (the producer) also apologized for first hearing about the Asante' conflict.  After the show aired, an audio recording surfaced between Asante’s daughter and her ex indicating she flat out lied in her interview; the recording was out months before the show aired.  A post surfaced of her dancing, bragging and “flashing cash.”  Moreover, she has a criminal record including crimes of moral turpitude (theft), and it is rumored that she was “hired” by the Savages to infiltrate R. Kelly’s life.

Now I’m looking at this situation with a more critical (third) eye. So, I continued my  "research", even staying up late watching reading blogs and watching R. Kelly videos, some I'd liked and missed (“Fiesta” (you here, Dame?), “Happy People”, “Your Body’s Callin'”, “Step In the Name of Love” and, of course, “I Believe I Can Fly”) while I also discovered new songs.  I had no choice but to view videos at home because my earplugs disintegrated each time I tried to watch at work.  “It’s a sign,” said my co-worker.  Perhaps.  The next morning, I told her, "Wow!  I'd forgotten how talented R. Kelly really is," because I'd stopped listening to him.  Then, someone asked if I'd ever seen his any of his concert videos.  So I watched one.  Egad!!!  Gasp!  Guess what I saw?  Grown women screaming and clamoring as R. Kelly sings about sex.  Imagine that:  A music artist singing about sex.  And I didn’t see humility or character but I did see charm and showmanship.  But what I saw most was an extremely gifted artist with adoring, loving fans whom he also loved.

I'm with Tamar (Braxton) on this one.  Lifetime did not need to tell us (Blacks) anything we didn’t already know.  But now, we’re all in a tizzy, ready to kill R. Kelly.  He's the same Cousin Kelly who we knew was rumored to have been with underage teenage girls.  And while we as Black women (and men) are so quick to vilify R. Kelly, Lifetime has yet to say anything about Weinstein who produced several shows for the network.  Then again, others don't demonize their own in front of company or destroy a person’s legacy like we do.

By now, I thought I'd seen and listened to as much as I could take!  I'd read or watched John Legend’s post of pious self-praise for speaking out against R. Kelly (25 years too late); Chance the Rapper and Lady Gaga's apologies (two of many who’ve “jumped ship” as if it’s the Titanic); reporter Toure' diverting attention to himself when discussing his BET interview with Kelly before being called out for his own allegations of sexual harassment.  And then I heard R. Kelly had gotten suspicious about people in his camp and fired some folk, and there were disgruntled employees.  Now I’m really curious.

Later, rumblings surfaced about Jocelyn Savage’s parents, Tim and JonJeyn Savage’s questionable motives (their press conference with TMZ sparked rumors of R. Kelly having a ‘sex cult’).  I stayed up late to do more “research” and couldn’t help but think that his protégé' Sparkle knew what she was doing when she introduced her niece to R. Kelly.  Then you have Jerhonda Pace who had a pattern of lying from the time she approached R. Kelly at his child pornography trial at age 14 and continues to be in ‘messiness.’  Also, the former backup singer Jovante’ Cunningham (I still don't understand why she was there; she definitely came across as a disgruntled former employee).  And I DID NOT believe her when she said, "a door suddenly flew open on the bus and she saw R. Kelly and Aaliyah having sex."  I believe Aaliyah’s mother, Diane Haughton when she said she’d never seen this woman before.  After all, if Cunningham and Aaliyah were close friends as she claims, wouldn’t Diane Haughton have met her at least once?

I don’t care enough to find out what the “Illuminati” is.  And I'm not that woman who quickly cries, “Conspiracy against the Black man,” or who arbitrarily makes excuses for and defends them even when they're wrong.  Or who goes out of her way to continue to uplift the Black man....well, actually, I am.  Because see, I have a Black father, brothers, uncles and cousins, each of whom I love and all of whom would have driven non-stop to Chi-town, beat down R. Kelly's door and whipped his and everybody else's asses if they thought for one minute that as a 20 year old, I was being abused and held against my will.  Somebody would have died that day and R. Kelly would have been #muted alright.  But that's not what I saw.

Yes, I have compassion for all the survivors.  Yes, I believe R. Kelly is manipulative, controlling, emotionally abusive and a bit narcissistic.  Yes, the parents should be reconciled with their daughters.  And yes, the police should investigate and if any crimes have been committed, try, convict and punish R. Kelly (and all accomplices who were acting on his behalf) accordingly.  But I've been a lawyer for 24 years and Black all my life, and know how some of us do when a few coins are involved.  Mr. Savage relies on women to “rescue” his daughter.  He shouldn’t drag me and everybody else into his mess especially when I see she does not want to leave R. Kelly.

I cringe when I think about R. Kelly’s ex-wife, Andrea (Drea) Kelly singing his songs, telling the public to buy his music, referring to him as her "Baby Daddy" and praising him while riding in a car with another man.  Ugh!!!  And that's 20 minutes I can never get back.  It’s only Thursday but something's fishy.  Because I then hear after her brief marriage to another man that ended in divorce, she took back R. Kelly’s last name.  All the while, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking about the suspenseful music and Dream’s (sort of) apology about that.  And then the disclaimer notices after each commercial.  At this point, it seems more like a sensationalized talk show than a documentary.  Watch it without music (or sound) and see if you learn anything.  And I’m remembering hearing that the #MeToo Movement was taken over (“hijacked”) by white women although founded by the Black woman in the show.  No surprise there.

  

I learned R. Kelly himself was sexually abused as a child.  The show did an excellent job of portraying R. Kelly as a “sexual predator.”  R. Kelly as “incest and sexual abuse survivor also”?  Not at all.  Hurt people hurt people and the help he needs before he causes pain to any more people is long overdue.  I’m not making excuses for R Kelly  My question is, “Why now?”  I always thought he should have gone to prison years ago and was angry when he didn’t.  It may have helped teach him a lesson, although prison does not equate to reform.  But what do you do with a middle aged man who’s lived a certain lifestyle for years and has handlers who protected and enabled his behavior?  Nevertheless, I’ll reserve final judgment until after I have completed my "research”. 

Lifetime is treating…no, we allowed Lifetime to treat us (Blacks) as if we’re still on a damn plantation.  Not to knock a sistah’s filmmaking skills, but I'm supposed to rely on a network that never did any real journalism or had any quality Black programming to tell me what a “monster” R. Kelly is?  By showing parents “retrieving” their daughters years later after sending them to Kelly?  And portraying fathers attempting to “rescue” their daughters by carrying a picket sign, being a camera hog or throwing rocks at a window? 

No, Lifetime, I'd discerned my "R. Kelly" reach for myself years ago.  I’d much rather see Lifetime to tell its parent company, Disney to stop hiring pedophiles and to tell the Women’s March Organizers to stop waving a pedophile flag under the guise of a homosexual agenda.  This is far more dangerous to our children than R. Kelly.  And since you're in the documentary business, why not produce a "Surviving Harvey Weinstein?” (who’s accused of rape) “docuseries”.  And how about making a "Surviving Kevin Spacey” (who's accused of sexual assault and statutory rape of underage teen boys) or “Surviving Louis C.K. (who’s accused of lewd sexual acts and unwanted sexual advances)?  And then, I hear of a Michael Jackson documentary.  Oh boy, here we go.

It’s now Friday morning, and I’m dragging into work, sleep deprived from being up late watching videos and reading blogs.  Plus, R. Kelly songs are starting to rotate in my head.  I’m a bit salty that Lifetime's tried to insult my (our) intelligence, and by the afternoon, I’m pissed after my co-worker showed me that some of the sexual harassment charges against Harvey Weinstein were dismissed.  To me, there’s a double standard; this is all a hot mess and this entire situation has caused some "weird" energy within the Black community.  Black fathers look worse thanks to Lifetime.  And by throwing the three suspect women – Asante’, Jerhonda and Jovante’ - into the mix, for each of whom there’s a question of credibility, it hurts real sexual assault survivors.  Don't Black women have a hard enough time trying to prove sexual assault? 

So, by now, I’ve been distracted all week and I’m behind in my work.  Plus, I know I have to get up early for a seminar; yet, I’m up Friday night until 2 AM “researching.”  But isn’t that often the case:  Whether it’s Kanye, Kardashians, Kevin (Hart), Katt, Cardi or Kelly, we (Black people) are being distracted while the real issues and policies that affect us go unnoticed?  I mean, there’s a government shutdown that’s been going on for almost a month; 800,000 people are furloughed working for no pay, missing mortgage payments, relying on food stamps, WIC and other subsidies that are running out  and we are (okay, I am) still talking about R. Kelly. 

Now, it's Saturday, January 12, one week before the Women’s March on DC.  I realize what’s really going on.  And I am furious!!!  (to be continued)....